Chainsaws for Girls

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Ilana's new chainsaw

I get very frustrated when I can’t do something– like start a chainsaw. It all started in North Carolina when we were building our strawbale house. Trees needed to be cut down and I couldn’t start the chainsaw, so Greg was in charge of the tree cutting with his monster chain saw.

Greg's chainsaw
Greg’s chainsaw


When we moved to Alaska, we didn’t have a wood burning stove, so we didn’t need to cut wood to keep warm, but we did need one to maintain trails. Since I couldn’t start Greg’s– the problem was the pull cord– Greg bought me a tiny RYOBI battery operated saw, that couldn’t cut shit.

Ilana's non-shit cutter
Ilana’s non-shit cutter


Thirteen years later, I was ripped from my homeland and found myself in Bancroft, Ontario, where not only do we have a wood burning stove, but also have a two fireplaces! Wood needs to be cut! After extensive research on the Internet, I found a cordless electric chain saw with good reviews. The Greenworks chainsaw. Greg bought me a lovely Greenworks chainsaw for our anniversary in July.  It sat unused until now, and guess what– it SUCKS! I thought the RYOBI sucked– but this sucks a zillion times more. The chain kept falling off and it took 20 minutes to cut a small branch. Grrrrr.

Greenworks electric chainsaw sucks
Greenworks electric chainsaw sucks


I was quite upset that my new chainsaw sucked, and all I could do while I watched Greg with his monster saw was clear away logs and brush. But wait! Greg’s brother Todd gave us his small gas powered chainsaw. Greg encouraged me to try it, and I said “Why bother, grrrrr?” But I tried starting it, and yippie!!! I was able to start a gas powered chainsaw for the first time in my life. I’m ecstatic! and also feel a little bit like a lumberjack.

Ilana's new chainsaw
Ilana’s new chainsaw


To top the excitement off, I used my other anniversary gift– a log splitter. It’s a little slow, but better than chopping with an axe (which I really can’t do anyway).

Log splitter
Log splitter


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